The Boston was to have happened on Monday. It did not. And yes, this quarantine is like a marathon and we have come to the part that in Boston we call Heartbreak Hill —or is it Heart Brake Hill?

No museums are open, nor any playgrounds where out-of-school children can play. No theaters, restaurants or other entertainments are available to us.

For me, the most difficult thing is I can’t walk the beaches on brisk spring days when flowers are in bloom and summer is just ahead.

So, here we are, running through an unwanted, least expected time of stress. This feels a lot like a marathon, and we are reaching the end of tolerance.

Who would have thought a year ago that schools and workplaces would be closed for months or that 25 million Americans would be filing for unemployment? We could not have imagined sheltering at home to stop the spread of a deadly disease. But that is what we are facing, and it is a heart break.

Some of us are fed up and asking why? Some of us are asking, what can I do? So here is some help with that.

Try taking a “heart brake.”

Take this time to do for yourself things you have never had time for or dared to do:

• Sleep when you need to
• Read the books you have stored on your shelf
• Send or leave a friend a gift of flowers, masks, or just a written note (Many of our elderly are shut in and do not even have access to internet. Some do not have TVs)

It is a time for us to look outward and to become the bearers of God’s good news through our actions.

I have no doubt that God is with us in this pandemic, asking us to rethink what is and who are important to us. We might face our limitations and maybe even dare to do something we have never done before. Paint a picture. Cook a gourmet meal. Give to someone in need. Take stock of those we have harmed or disliked. Re-assess the issues.

Pray, think, sing! Dance like no one is watching. As I sit here in my dining room, I can hear the someone singing on my street, “When the Saints go marching in!”

Be joyful my friends. We are living in history. What we do today is a measure of our substance. And yes, God is there cheering us on.

Be well, this “heartbreak” can be fixed, and this ‘brake’ is ours for the making of a blessing.

God Bless you all,

The Rev. Joyce Caggiano

I’m writing this because as Christians and citizens it is important that we recognize that the “new normal” everyone is talking about is real.  We are facing a subtle but real change in our lives as social beings.

We live in a new volatile world at this moment in time.  It reminds me of the fears that must have been experienced during WWII.  The Japanese Americans were put in camps out of fear that they were our enemy.  Men who were rejected by the Armed Services were ostracized.  People who had access to desired resources became special. Befriending the right people might get you the things you needed or wanted.

Today we are living in a different world than any of us have ever known.  For example, I am home schooling my grandchildren.  The first week was frustrating. Not enough bandwidth on the internet. The second week was better.  The third week was miserable.  The fourth week we have settled in to OUR new normal.

Many people, including myself, are making masks so that people can protect themselves from an invisible enemy that seems to be winning this war.  I am also sewing medical gowns for my daughter’s nursing home staff.  Why?  Because there is a scarcity and inadequacy of vitally necessary equipment.  Something none of us could have imagined only months ago.

A few days ago, I went to my favorite local discount fabric store to buy fabric for the medical gowns.  The owner of the store (whom I’d never met before) gave me 50 yards of nylon waterproof fabric for $2 per yard. That made 25 gowns.  Yesterday I went back to purchase the last of his supply.

But this time the owner wasn’t there.  When I placed my bolt of fabric on the counter, I asked if I could receive the discounted price.  (Full price was $2.99 per yard). The clerk looked at me suspiciously and refused to give me the discount. She told me I could wait for the owner if I wanted.  I couldn’t. Then she looked at me with a subtle kind of fear and told me to step back away from her. There was a very large counter between us at least five feet wide.  I stepped back and paid the full price for the same fabric. I left feeling sadness and frustration.

Are we afraid of one another now more than before? Have you noticed that people who are carefully “social distancing” are sometimes actually unfriendly? Are we more suspicious of one another? Is this the new social order? When we are hoarding, it means taking more than we need and the result is that others don’t have enough. Is this what we WANT?

Living as a community is more important than ever. As a parish community this pandemic makes our work critical to the health of our world.  The only way through this pandemic is to hold tight to the things that matter.  Not physical things but the things that make our lives rich with joy and peace and generosity.  Our faith in a God that loves us through the most difficult circumstances.  A God that never leaves us.  Emmanuel Church is like many Christian communities today, struggling to make our way back to normal.  But normal today is new and different.  The “different” needs to shape us into better people, the way that Jesus taught us.  The WAY that makes us children of the light, bearers of love and compassion.  The WAY of the Lord, the one who will carry us into life again and again and again.

I miss you all and pray for you.  Be well, be safe, be generous, patient and compassionate.  Our faithfulness will bring us into the “new normal” full of the glories of God.

Peace to you, my friends,

The Rev. Joyce Caggiano

LITURGIES OF THE HEART April 8, 2020

Well, here we are in the strangest Holy Week ever experienced. Some of us found solace in the quiet, sometimes sad, contemplative liturgies of Holy Thursday, and Good Friday.

For many Lutherans the Good Friday Passion is the highlight of the liturgical year. In Germany that is very evident. Perhaps those of you who come from that tradition feel that. When I was a girl, my friends and I would go out to buy new hats, the Easter Bonnet. Then, perhaps even a whole outfit for Easter. It was a chance to be extravagant and elegant, sometimes even with white gloves. My brothers would laugh at us and say that we were wearing ‘lamp shades’ on our heads.

So, this morning I was experimenting with the masks I am making, perhaps adding feathers or lace to them! How funny they looked. I was going to send a picture to you all but then I saw myself in the mirror and thought…. hmmmm, NO. Maybe my brothers were right!

The shopping and dressing up was all part of the preparation and the buildup for the big day – Easter – the celebration of the Resurrection. Being ‘shut in’ by the virus raging around us gives us pause to hold on to what is most valuable, to appreciate one another and the gift of our church. We won’t be able to see one another. No hats or masks of any kind will be viewed or commented on, no listening to blessed music, smelling candles burning, feeling the silence and comfort of just being in that beautiful loved and lovely space.

Alas, Jesus gets the final word even on this. I imagine him saying, “find it in yourselves”. The true Resurrection is there. It comes from the finest of God’s gifts, Grace. And you can’t buy that in any store. It is in the storeroom of your heart. Sit still, call upon the Lord, recognize God’s presence, open yourself to the love so abundantly shared and be at peace this Holy Week and Easter. In the meantime, there is talk of a huge celebration after we are cleared for socializing! A feast of extraordinary proportions!

That resurrection will surely light a fire in our hearts. In the meantime, stay close to one another in the distances we are permitted and remember that Jesus instituted the Eucharist at the Last Supper, celebrated on Maundy Thursday and that the death of Jesus on Friday was GOOD – because life begins when all is lost and we are brought to our knees in adoration of the greatest gift of all, God’s son, Jesus.

With love,

The Rev. Joyce Caggiano

Unexpected Aspects of a Forced Retreat

The other day I was unexpectedly surprised to notice silence in the middle of the day!

Yes, silence.  It may not seem like much, but I live very close to Mattapan Square.  Although my house is on a secluded side street, the noise of buzzing motorcycles, trucks, buses and emergency vehicles is so common that the absence of them struck me as strange.

So, I began to ponder the wonders of this strange time of staying inside away from friends and family.  It is a kind of “retreat” and I suppose we can take it as a religious retreat if we choose to see it that way.  Of course, for some of us, healthcare workers and essential workers this is NOT a retreat at all.  We must fervently pray for those who are keeping the world together.  Pray that a sense of peace and meaning can be found amidst the noise and tumult of this time.

I was planning a religious retreat only a few weeks ago.  It was to take place last weekend.  It was cancelled, of course.  The funny thing is that the content of that retreat I was planning – was going to help us find methods of discovering our inner voice.  The inner voice where so often God resides.  It was supposed to encourage silence and focus for our inward lives.   No one could have known that the Coronavirus would hit us in this powerful way, leaving everyone in an odd state mentally, physically and emotionally.  Separating us from the hustle of everyday life, alone and away… like a retreat.

This is an opportunity to open our hearts and minds and our senses…. to the wonderful blessings we have been given.  Today I can hear the birds singing.  I get to spend many hours with my grandchildren Nino and Eli.  I am teaching them.  What a great and wonderful experience. Their joy and laughter shiver through me like a balm.  I watch as they sparkle when a new concept is grasped.

Each of us today has an opportunity to focus on what is important and who is important to us.  I pray that we do not squander this time but bring it into our consciousness so as to enhance our lives and bring us to a new understanding of God at work in the world.

We have a chance to FaceTime with people we may never thought we would and to listen to each other.  To talk on the phone.

Most of all, though we are all kept inside, we now have an opportunity to ponder the gifts we have been given.  Gifts that are not earned but are simply there.  Grace.  God’s Grace will bring us through this time of challenge.  While in it, we are called to BE PRESENT to the experience.  Feel the immeasurable love that God has for us and to give in ways we never thought possible.  To Love one another through this incredible time of need.

My heart goes out to you all.  It is a heart full of peace and joy (most of the time) at being able to see and hear all of you in a different way.

God Bless you.

The Rev. Joyce Caggiano

Habits of Grace: An invitation for you, from Presiding Bishop Curry

[March 30, 2020] As we learn how to adjust our lives given the reality of the coronavirus and the request to do our part to slow its spread by practicing physical distancing, I invite you to join me each week to take a moment to cultivate a ‘habit of grace.’ A new video meditation will be posted on Mondays through May.